Released into wild: 2/10/11 at 1.36 (should have been 1/10/11 but it wasn’t – see below for details!)
General Location: Clifton, Bristol
Status: Found by Ian on 03/10/2011
You may think this jar contains a photograph: it actually contains a dramatic crisis.
This would be the day when I completely lost the plot and missed my deadline because I was having an emotional crisis.
After two hours of trying and failing to make a jar that I was happy with, I ended up sobbing hysterically in my bathroom, swearing at myself, the project and my life. At 5 minutes to midnight, with no jar made, I accepted the truth – I was going to properly miss my deadline. And not by a single minute either.
I suppose it was inevitable. I’ve been under massive amounts of stress lately since my entire world imploded back in May. The last two weeks have been sheer hell – there’s been a temporary lull in the huge amount of practical stuff, so the full emotional impact of the break-up finally hit me. And it hit me hard. I’ve been a complete sobbing mess. That’s what happens when you bottle things up and try not to feel them!
I wibbled at my remaining partner and he patiently made ‘there, there’ noises and calmed me down.
Then I seriously considered stopping the entire project because I was just so damn tired. Did I really want to go on with this? The words, “it doesn’t matter, they’re just stupid jars. Why are you doing this to yourself? What kind of bizarre self-punishment is this anyway?” may have passed my lips.
And then I picked myself up, dusted myself off, made a jar that would pass muster and photographed it. I faffed around for another half hour wondering whether to just go to bed instead of walking it because I was tired down to my soul. But I decided to be brave and just get it done, so I wobbled out into the middle of the night, avoided the drunks and placed my damn jar. Only an hour and 36 minutes late.
Afterwards I sat on a park bench and looked at the stars. And cried some more. And then said out loud, “well, I care about the project, it matters to me and I need this discipline, so I’m going to carry on.”
Drama over. Project carrying on.
This jar has been found already:
I’ve seen or collected a jar: Collected a jar
Number on lid of jar: 274
Your name (optional): Ian
Date jar found (optional): 03/10/2011
If you collected a jar, what motivated you to pick it up? (optional): Intrigued
Where is the jar now? (optional): Pride of Place on my Mantlepiece
Well done, Ian, it’s nice to hear from a new finder instead of all our regulars.